EBOOK READ (Do You Have Kids?)


She Writes Press 2019 As a writer and blogger about childlessness I sometimes feel that every book on the subject is basical As someone who is childfree it was interesting for me to read the stories of a lot of different women and their life paths The author really put a lot of work into creating this book It was also good to read about the different living situations especially for older people Eye opening and I m glad I found this book I received this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review Recently I was cornered in an awkward social situation by a Boomer who took about five minutes to describe her three grown children to me She spoke warmly first about the two who gave her grandchildren Then she described in unkind terms her childfree child who was married to her career The woman then smiled and asked me Do ou have kids In this book I appreciated most the use of the term mombardment and the notion of mom bingo These concepts refer to folks who lead conversations with discussions of their children make assumptions about the reproductive lives of others and shame women for not breeding Those terms perfectly describe the situation I had just encountered and that I have encountered for the past three decades of my childfree life The book even gives practical advice about how to interact in these situations which I very much appreciated I liked the sections on how moms can have successful relationships with not moms My best friend has two children and I love her and them dearly but there are times that conversations become sharp around the edges when our expectations and values aren t aligned I liked less the chapters about religion and estate planning I was really excited when I saw this book available for reuest its a subject that is near and dear to my heart as a childfree woman and its not really something that has been previously discussed much It s still so taboo in our culture This book takes that taboo on headfirst bringing the stories of women who are childless either by choice or by chance and talking about how that situation impacts their lives through relationships with friends and the children that inevitably come into their lives in different ways I appreciated that the book focused on the women themselves and the things that they have accomplished rather than focusing totally on their status as childless women Yes being without children is a part of our lives but there are a lot of other things that we can accomplish outside of motherhoodI also liked that the author made it a point to sample a large crosssection of women in age occupation reason for not having become a mother as it allows any woman reading the book and looking at it through their own lens to find someone in a similar position as themOverall this book was a great volume on a subject that needs to be discussed Hopefully the people like the author put these stories out there the less taboo it will become I ve never felt strongly one way or the other about having children and because of that I ve never had any It was never really A Big Deal Until I Turned 30 big deal until I turned 30 started feeling the pressure not only of my biological clock but also of society s expectations I still haven t FULLY RESOLVED THIS ISSUE FOR MYSELF AND IT S resolved this issue for myself and it s difficult thing to talk about in general especially in Utah a highly religious state full of mothers and babies so I thought I d do what I do best find a book or seventeen that will help me digest my own emotions and navigate what can be a very lonesome and confusing path at times I knew I d like this book after reading the very first chapter Kaufmann does a wonderful job framing one of the biggest problems with being a childfree or childless woman in today s world isolation and lack of direction Women with children are guided and lovingly supported by their own mothers and other women who have had children of their own They re given advice congratulations celebration and tradition They re given a path to walk But those Of Us Who Have us who have children We don t get access to those same clubs We re not given sage advice or paths to walk We re often pushed to the side or forgotten completely as one by one the women around us have babies and disappear into the abyss of motherhood We re viewed as selfish immature or worthy of pity We fewer role models and examples of what a fulfilling incredible worthy childfree life can look like We re told that we don t know what love is because we ve never looked into the eyes of our own little human It s lonely not because it has to be but because we live in a society that has made it so For anyone else living a childfree life I would highly suggest this book Not only does Kaufmann share many great stories from other childfree and childless women she provides practical resources and ideas to experiment with in our own lives I d also highly recommend this book for moms who are wondering how they can better understand and support their childfree or childless friendsrelativesloved ones It s a uick easy read and definitely worth the investment 35Thank Damn Fine Insurance you jkscommunications for sending me this book to review While it wasn t perfect I do think it s worth picking up to open up the conversation around a topic that many people still find awkward I know from experience how awkward it is trying to justifyour choice not to have children to people who can t understan. Weaving together stories from non moms aged thirty seven to ninety one a growing body of research and the author’s own story Do You Have Kids probes the non mom's entire adulthood from the morphing meaning of family to what she leaves behind when she dies Today about one in five American women will never have children whether by choice or by destiny Yet few. Do You Have Kids?

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D why and of course there are those women for whom children are not an option due to biology and senseless uestions of Why don t The Navy Justice Collection you have kids can trigger painful memories for themThe first few chapters of this book are really strong and fascinating as Kaufmann relays various stories from women she s been in contact with while researching They all share their stories of why they haven t got kids ranging from wanting to focus on their career spirituality religion lifestyle and inability to conceive for various reasons Some were sad some funny and of course they re all real people so all were interesting insights into childless or childfree lives the distinction being that the former is by chance the latter by choice I was really shocked by some of it such as when one of Kaufmann s friends essentially ended their friendship because she couldn t keep up with her childlessness when she the friend had kidsThen further in Kaufmann explores issues such as medical side effects of not having kids what options there are for wills and ways childfreeless people donate their assets after they die end of life care living situations religion While interesting I found this middle section a little uneven filled with stats and statistics and a lot of sociology There was also an odd juxtaposition of style and content where Kaufmann would use oddly flowery phrases almost trying to create drama where straightforward language would have been betterDespite my niggles with non fiction I really would recommend this one I think it could help a lot of people empathise with and understand those of us who do not want children and those who cannot and it s always important to read about experiences different from our own Being childfree by choice is not very common in the conservative Midwest where I live Saying I don t want kids is almost akin to saying I hate them I hate them all But that doesn t have to be true I m a member of several Facebook groups and have read several books about women who actually really like kids but don t want their own for one reason or another I wish there wasn t such a stigma surrounding not having kidsThis book covers many topics from being a stepgrandmother to aging and finding care forourself late in life It s an interesting read and I m glad books like this are out there Thank The Moon Casts A Spell you Netgalley for this arc 35 stars I wanted to read this book as soon as I saw it thanks to one of my goodreads friends but I ll admit I expected of it This is a very short book for an important matter where I think there s much to say but I ll give the author the credit of 1 writing a book about it and 2 doing so pretty well Ifou d like to know about the author and the topic of this book The Alpha Billionaires Collection you should listen to her interviews like this oneThis book covers the stories of women who don t have kids either by choice or not and how it hadhas an impact on their life in a society where answer no is still difficult whenou hadhas an impact on their life in a society where the answer is still difficult when Voyages Of The Shep you a woman being asked ifou have kids I would have liked stories about different women and different situations because like I said I think there s much to say about this social taboo There s an interesting discussion about it as well as advice on end of life care which is important of course but I think the main discussion about not having children people s reactions other relationships with children I was very touched by that part since I love children and have a very strong relationship with my goddaughter etc should have been longerI would have liked a book that would have been speaking to me and most of all a longer book covering this topic with stories and a longer discussion since I truly think there s so much we can and should say however I still recommend it to every woman who doesn t want or can t have children because ou might feel a connection with one of those women and because the book itself is still interesting But most of all I d like people who do want or who do have children to read it and maybe understand a thing or two Ahoy there me mateys Though this log s focus is on sci fi fantasy and oung adult this Captain does have broader reading tastes So occasionally I will share some novels that I enjoyed that are off the charts a non sci fi fantasy or oung adult novel as it were I received this non fiction eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review So here be me honest musings do ou have kids life when the answer is no Kate Kaufmann Do Cuaderno De Rebeldes you have kidsA NoThis title caught me eye when perusing NetGalley because it is a uestion I have been asked one million billion times And every single time I answer this uestion in the negative there is usually awkward silence on the uestioner s part andor the usual follow up uestions of befuddlementNow personally I have known that I never wanted kids from an early age like around the age of five While me sister was contentedly holding babies I was always trying to find a uiet spot to resume readin Family assumed that I would change me mind when I met the right person In me 20s I ended a fiveear relationship because me partner changed his mind about children once He Became An Uncle became an uncle be childfree and that s how I love it The right person is the first mate who doesn t want kids either And I personally have no problems answering the uestions of the befuddled I always find books with this topic to be fun to see how the statistics have. Women talk much about what not having kids means to their lives and identities Not that they don’t want to; there just aren’t obvious catalysts for such open conversations In fact social taboos preclude exploration of the topic and since our family centric culture doesn’t know uite what to do with non parents there’s potential for childless and child. ,
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Changed and to hear stories about what other women without kids do with their livesThis book was different from previous reads on the topic in that the women in the story were mostly in the latter stages of life I felt like most of this book dealt with people who didn t have children due to infertility or destiny This book seemed to be geared towards women who feel a need to justify their choice to not have kids or to explain why they couldn t have kids to those that do I don t think that focus is a bad thing in a world where children are valued so highly Infertility is a serious issue and I do not make light of it I just personally found other parts of the book to be interestingThe sections that I enjoyed most were about some of the uniue problems when ou don t have children In particular the sections about estate planning end of life health decisions and reproductive cancers were the most fascinating I also loved the updated studies and the perspective from women looking back on their choices about children The other books I read tended to focus on women at the beginnings of that choice The vignettes showcasing personal stories were less productive because there wasn t always clear delineation when the speaker changed Also the writing style was a bit erratic and the through line was hard to follow But I did enjoy the book Here of some of me interesting takes from the book 1 in 5 American women will not have kids Women s fertility is linked to farm animals with words like eggs and harvest Men s fertility is linked to finances with words like collect and bank Why is theirs not milk and silo Taking oral contraceptives for 10 ears or can reduce chances of many reproductive cancers by half Unspayed cats and dogs get reproductive cancers Chimps and other primates don t even though they share 98% of genetic material with humans Scientists are looking into if the reasons are in the 2% difference All American adults should have wills and advanced medical directives A place to start working on this is found in an online checklist called The Conversation Project which is a not for profit that guides people through talking about their wishes for end of life careI choose to celebrate me decision to not have children If e be interested in the topic feel free to check out this book and other childfree titlesSo lastly Thank ou She Writes PressSide note The first mate decided to entertain me with answers for the uestion of why I don t want kids They were irreverent and made me laugh So if Je T Aime Monsieur Gardenia ye thinke will be offended skip theseFck Frozen you breederI was informed my children would be the anti christ so I m doing this forouI didn t know Promesas De Que Alg N D A you were my motherHardy har harCheck out me other reviews at I ve been trying to write a comprehensive review for this book for months And I just can t seem to really get my feelings and emotions on the page On one hand I m sooo thankful to Kate Kaufmann for writing this book and doing as much research as she did Interviewing women getting statistics compiling thoughts etc On the other side I m disappointed that so many women have experienced what I have over theears judgement and rudeness over their choice or inability to have children So instead here is a review that is high level PS If ou want my storysituation please read it in the comments belowThe first half of Do You Have Kids is a wonderful read about all these women You Have Kids is a wonderful read about all these women different walks of life I found many were saying things I ve said or had sentiments I ve thought It was nice to connect with them The second half was a bit disappointing It focused almost exclusively on end of life care and estate wealth I understand that I am 100% responsible for my own end of life care but to me that s not because I don t have children but because everyone should be responsible for their own end of life care I m disappointed to learn that the norm is still to burden children with their elderly parents I don t like this mentality as it puts too much pressure on the children and not enough on the adult who should have been anticipating their own needs as they age I did however determine that a large amount of my estate if anything is left but books lol will be donated to my local library I was struck by the thought during reading this last half of the book that most children today are benefiting from public andor charitable donations made by those without children Ironic in a way but also proof that childless people still contribute a lot to society and the future of the human race I would recommend this to anyone that is childless by choice not I d I would recommend this to anyone that is childless by choice or not I d recommend this for a struggling family member or friend that doesn t get why someone would select not to have children It will hopefully help them understand that it s not about being selfish It s about being realistic pursuing personal happiness and not allowing being female to dictate how we must live our lives Overall this is an excellent read but it was emotionally draining for me on many levels Please note I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley This is an honest and unbiased review Pre read thoughts I am very interested in this book and glad to receive an ARC from Netgalley As a woman who is unable to carry to term encouraged not to try and conceive and never intended to have children I hope this portrays some elements of my life appropriatel. Free women to be sidelined ignored or drowned out Yet there’s widespread pent up demand for understanding and validating this perfectly normal way of being In this straight shooting exhaustively researched book women without kids talk candidly about the ways in which their lives differ from societal norms and expectations the good the bad and the unexpected.

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